AS LONG AS THERE'S REPLACEMENTS WE'LL NEVER BE ALONE

It amazes me that there's been no sightings of Michael Jackson. Elvis is still around, so where's MJ? Isn't anyone making toast anymore? Aren't there some potato chips with his likeness on one? Or a waterstain on some yokel's shed that looks like a glove? Even the National Inquirer isn't showing any alien terrestrial babys with Michael's famous forehead curl.

So in my quest to insure that we are never left alone again, I've done some investigative work to unearth duplicates of those in the news. We'll never be without:

Dana and Joe Wyzard

FRIDAY'S READER'S SPECIAL

I visited a new reader's site and had an ethical question....do I mention her post and lose all MY readers? All 6 of them? Or do I tell you all to visit and have a good laugh.

Okay. The "good dana" won.....or lost......well, go here, then come back.....you ARE coming back, right???

"I'LL NEVER SMOKE WEED WITH WILLIE AGAIN"

glnroz said...

You doooo knoowww, that the men in the white coats are going to have to take you away,,over that one,, lmao.....glenn

Wellllllllll, they tried it before and they will try it again.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Hey crocodile, don't be such a buzzkill!

Oh Deniz.....you no smokin the chihuahua toys again r u?

Ginger said...

LOL that is really cute!! That's also my excuse for gaining weight...I drink too much water.

Or you forgot to exhale.

ReformingGeek said...

Snort. You might give some men the idea that smoking a joint will....er....make them BIGGER.

Smoke a joint, enlarge the point...yeah, and if wishes were horses......

Quirkyloon said...

LMBO! Heh heh ho ho! You are a danger magnet.

Well, that IS my middle name ya know.

Sue said...

Loved it! Thanks Dana...I need a good chuckle today.

Considering where you're moving to......you're gonna need LOTS of chuckles. But you'll be able to score some weed during spring break.

Beth said...

For some strange reason, I am craving fried eggs now.

With M & Ms?????

Lorraine said...

Hmmmm, pass the Fritos man.

And M & Ms????? Anyone????

Rob-bear said...

Just about fell off my chair I was laughing so hard.
And I hadn't been smoking anything!

And that's what you tell the Canadian Mounted Police, right?

NucMEd is Hot said...

that was really good!

Thank you. Don't applaud. Throw money.

kathcom said...

Love this one, especially because I know which Willie you're talking about. ;)

Thank God for you!! YES! WILLIE!!! My old buddy. Haven't seen him in over 4 years.

hellesbelles86 said...

Love the song and love the post! Hilarious!!!

I was missing Willie, and thinking about that song by Toby Keith and I just had to do it.

"FLORIDA......THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE"

Sue said...

Me tinks yo' are tryin to scare me!!!
(it's workin)

Be afraid dear woman. Be very afraid.

ReformingGeek said...

You have definitely crossed over. I'm so sorry you're with those that pay with money because it's the same as cash. I'll see you on the other side!

Yes. I went toward the light and brought the rainy season with me.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Are you sure Floruba isn't really some version of California? Because the competence level there seems about the same as the competence level here ...

I had no idea, but given the close proximity of Floruba to Cuba, and Kalifornia to Mexico, I'm beginning to see the comparison.

Beth said...

I think the Floruba logic has bled up to South Georgia. Damnnit!

So close......so very close, but no cigar Monica Lewinski. No cigar.

Gaston Studio said...

Who the hell is Mark??

Mark is the man in charge of my health care. He's not a doctor, but plays one from 9- 5.

hellesbelles86 said...

Geez it sounds like you should come home for a "visit" to show Joe how normal it can be back here in the US of A. Barring that, you could always kidnap him I suppose. Or come home and kidnap your old doctor. In all seriousness tho, could your old doctor at home fax the prescription to Floruba and the idiot pharmacies?

I've already pulled the "I'm only here for a month" with my doctor. He'd be getting wise by now.......but now that you mentioned it......Can't hurt tryin' again.

Demeur said...

I went through a similar situation with some heart meds. But get this. It was a catch 22 and the same Wal (I want all your)Greens pharma. The pharma guy wanted a prescription but doc was on vacation. Clinic said to see the pharma guy and around and around it went until I pulled a Donald Trump on em. "YOU'RE ALL FIRED! After three such terminations the end result: I have a clinic that has the doc and his own pharma lady who will gladly fax a script to where ever I choose. Which is to a local chain that does $10 for 90 day supply. No more problems fighting with Bubba and his pharma heirs.

What I wouldn't give to have a pharma lady with a fax machine....and the wisdom to use it.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

we went from the pen which was wonderful back to the syringes because you get more for your money. although the pens were a lot easier for my husband.

Well make it easy on the ol' geezer and stop buying that fancy underwear so he can afford to go back to the pens!

Julie said...

OMG. Only you. So, is it hot in the Twilight Zone these days?

74 degrees and raining cats and dogs. Haven't been able to swim for three days. In the meantime, it's a balmy 83 in Indiana.

Lorraine said...

I actually had to sit through 4 episodes of the Twilight Zone this weekend but at least we could have turned them off. Guess you can't do that when you live there.

We have 24/7 Twilight Zone, Golden Girls and Deadliest Catch. Oh, and the news.....Michael Jackson is still dead.

Deb said...

Come to Maine where the doctors here truly practice, practice and practice on patients hoping that one day they'll get it right. At least you have Mark and not Dr. Pamarajumaramahanamarahanramalingadingdong whose last patient was a monkey.

BTW, I am still pissed off at you and Joe for wimping out and moving to Florida with the other wusses.

WIMPED OUT!? I had to ride for 19 hours with a dog on my lap and Atlanta during rush hour!!

Ginger said...

I am so sorry you are having computer problems. That is just what you don't need right now.
Hearing your story makes me glad I am on oral meds for diabetes and not insulin.
I feel like I am in twilight zone too when I can't get high speed internet here.

Dial up IS the devil's child and he delights in its evilness. I'm hanging onto my computer because I found out that the TOSHIBA warranty place is.............are you ready........it's HOME!!! Where I'm not. And I refuse to send my computer HOME while I stay here.

Rob-bear said...

Wow; are you ever having fun in Florida!
In other words, things are really sad.
Here's a breath of fresh air -- come on up to Canada for a while.

I have my good days and my bad ones. It all depends on if I'm able to swim, versus whether I need something from the 21st Century.

Granny Annie said...

I'm with Gaston Studio "What the hell is Mark?"
We left Walgrens for the local Mom and Pop druggist. It is not as much a hassel as Walgrens but it's no rosy glowing pharmacy either.

We pulled into mom and pop's pharmacy today and within ten minutes we were walking out with PRESCRIPTIONS!!! FILLED ONES!!!

NucMEd is Hot said...

Medicine...you got to love the way we can screw up something that seems so simple.

Yeah. And I was sitting outside the SUNOCO last week and WATCHED while a man on a bicycle handed some money in the window of a 62 Pontiac......and got HIS meds. EASY as that!! And no forms to fill out!

Trukindog said...

Sounds like a Twilight Zone filled with Rainmen...prescription, gotta have a prescription, gotta have a prescription...

And my underwear........comes from kmart......gotta find kmart before Judge Wapner comes on.

Computer Screen Rentals said...

Rental system for computer equipment are very reliable as it gives you round-the-clock technical support that you need whenever the stuff rented gone bad.

11:39 PM

Uhhhh......and me love you long time.......?

The Blog Fodder said...

Tell me again why Americans refuse to have a decent medical system?
Come to Ukraine and visit us. No prescriptions, near as I can figure. The doc writes a note on a scrap of paper so you know what to buy. Then you hunt for a drug store that actually carries it. Rottsa ruck. Diabetes is a major problem here so no trouble with supplies, though i think the syringe is still the weapon of choice.

I just happened to look at my Lantis today and it said "without insurance, this would cost you $225". WHAT !?

ZAPPOS: your internet friend

Have you ever been so darn tired that all you wanted to do was chill, but your family was running around with holes in their clothes and YOU were the one expected to go shopping?

There is a site that offers thousands of clothing choices for every member of your family and they are quality choices with free shipping, handling AND a return policy!

Instead of getting in your car and driving from one store to another, or, worse yet, taking them WITH you, why not settle back and go to Zappos?

The clothes are listed under category, style, and size and will arrive promptly right to your door. The clothes will fit, or can be exchanged without leaving your house. Your family will look good and YOU won't be exhausted.

SHOPWIKI: your internet friend

Have you heard of the newest,truly revolutionary way to shop online?

The usual shopping site only sells what they have been PAID to advertise. You can find, on average, 1,000 internet stores that operate that way. I've discovered an online shopping experience that spans 3,000 stores!

What does that mean for you, the internet shopper? It means that you can find anything and everything in one place. . . . for sale!

Need ANYTHING football related? Well you can't do better than this site, so the first thing you need to do is buy everything related to football on the internet!!

And, personally, I'd rather to go their video game site and play imaginary football.

And not only do they sell football accessories they see a well rounded supply of all things you can imagine. Now THAT'S a well rounded shopping experience.

So for all football merchandise, what other place do you need.

I'LL NEVER SMOKE WEED WITH WILLIE AGAIN

Willie the koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

'Hey you!'

So Willie looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...
How much water did you drink!?'

FLORIDA......THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE

HEADS UP:

I've had two "blue screens of death" on this computer today. If you never hear from me again, it'll be because BEST BUYS is the only store in Floruba that does warranty work, (and we all know how good THEY are at repairing computers).

I already have Wednesday's post ready, and if there's no FRIDAY'S READER'S SPECIAL, you'll live......

So.....50 miles away is the only Best Buys in this area and we will be there tomorrow ~ where I will drop off my computer and run for the door...........*sniff*........you've been good to me lil' Toshiba. I'll miss you........please......look away.....

And now, for my post.

I finally figured out the space parallel continuum situation. Somewhere in the universe is the real Florida, and somehow it slipped through one of those black holes and was replaced with it's opposite: FLORUBA.

The following is just ONE instance of ONE of our obnoxious and totally idiotic Floruba days.

This day was one of immense medical screw-ups, none of which was done by a true medical doctor.

WALGREENS must have gotten their thumbs out of their asses long enough to get their dewy digit stuck on the REORDER button. Instead of reordering my LANTIS for my diabetes, they kept, and kept, reordering HUMALOG for my diabetes.

Walgreen's repeated attempts to refill my refilled refill, made my insurance company throw a rock at their computer screen and say 'NO MORE INSULIN FOR DANA', like I'm buying it and selling it behind WinnDixie's dumpsters.

So Humana, then Walgreens, called Joe's cell phone and informed him that in order to get my insulin, I have to get a written prescription from a doctor.

I don't HAVE a doctor. No. In this parallel universe, I have MARK.

Both of these medicines are administered by an INSULIN PEN. Notice I didn't say PIN. I said PEN.

This little piece of medical ingenuity allows me to carry what appears to be an ink pen on steroids and, instead of holding up a bottle of liquid and inserting a syringe (NOT something you want to do at STUMPIES, the closest thing we have to a den of iniquity and fast food restaurant) I pull out my pen of immense proportions and discretely give myself a shot while waiting for our food to arrive.



The fact that I have to unzip my pants and pull my belly out for the shot is beside the point.

So, in self-righteous indignation, I transferred my various prescriptions to a local mom and pop type of pharmacy. Sigh of relief.........then Joe's cell phone starts ringing and we eventually learn the name of pop, mom and the rest of the pharmaceutical clan............

First up, Pharmacist Pop: "Uhhhhh. I'm not familiar with insulin PENS.......you'll have to get a written prescription from your doctor"

I don't HAVE a doctor. I've got MARK.

Second up, Pharmacist Mom: "Uhhhhh.....did you know that when you transfer a class C drug.......BY FLORIDA LAW, the class C drug cannot be refilled except by a written prescription from a doctor"

I don't HAVE a doctor. I've got MARK.

Third up, Pharmacist Son: "Uhhhh.......we're not familiar with the size 1/2 inch needles you use, so you're going to have to get a prescription from a DOCTOR for the 4/8 inch needles..."

I don't HAVE a doctor. I've got MARK.....and....uh....wait........isn't a 4/8 inch needle actually a ONE HALF INCH needle???

Parallel universe my ass, this is the TWILIGHT ZONE!

FRIDAY'S READER'S SPECIAL

To my poor, unsuspecting internet buddies........get ready, cuz in about three weeks I'm gonna be making the request to beat all requests from you for my birthday........heads up!

"WONDERIN' WEDNESDAY"

Granny Annie said...

Hey, I'm not a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I can cover my sagging neck and double chin with a scarf too.

And what's this about Columbo? I guess I'll have to read up because I love him so. Do we need to battle for him against his daughter?

Oh ANNIE!! I've got even MORE photos of his meltdown, right in the middle of the street! The poor thing was ranting about people stealing from him, etc., and they say he's deep into dementia. I feel surprisingly bad about it. Not that I'm a Falker Stalker....and I know you're not a lesbian.....not that there's anything wrong with that....wink wink.

Gaston Studio said...

Love your comparable photos Dana, especially Billie Jean and the singer thereof!

YOU GOT IT!!!! Billie Jean and the singer thereof........no one else noticed. Sometimes I like to bury little things like that in my posts.......NOW I guess people will start paying more attention huh.

ReformingGeek said...

Yes, those gummy treats are a MUST for this year's Halloween parties.

You are right about the older men and $$. You don't usually see young guys driving corvettes. Of course older men usually have ex-wives and a baseball team of kiddos wanting the $$.

Therein lies the problem. Joe was one rich dude til his wife took him to the cleaners and left him with just the hair on his chest.......(that's why he's bald).

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Peter Falk??? Say it isnt so!

It is SO true Denniz. I iz so glad to sees you here agin.

sun lover said...

I too like Nikki and miss her funny I wish Wednesdays, I must say though, yours was pretty damn funny and should maybe become a Wednesday tradition.

I read this the other day and thought it was pretty funny...We can all rest in peace now knowing that Micheal Jackson is taking a nice long dirt nap. So sad and yet so true!

I asked Nikki's permission first before I ever did it. I can't make it a tradition, since it's HER tradition, but I've got some photos lined up, waiting for another day.

Mindy said...

I feel the need to suddenly go out and purchase scarves. Many of them!
You have me worried about Peter Falk too! I haven't heard about this because for the last week, I've had the news turned off. Has anything else besides MJ dying happened? :-O

Michael Jackson, still dead. News at eleven.

Julie said...

Oh. My. God. This is one of the funniest posts ever. I have tears! And, I must have those gummy bears. I'd totally swallow.

That's what the seventh fleet said about you the last time they were in port. oh oh

Demeur said...

Peter's mind must have slipped quickly. He did a movie just last year.

And here's a news update on Michael Jackson: The latest report... He's still dead. Film at eleven.

Just wondering who gets custody of the monkey?

THANK GOD I was brave enough to poke a little fun. The last time I "poked a little fun", there was a cat in dreadlocks involved and it was election day.......I lost a lot of readers and got coated with tar and feathers.

hellesbelles86 said...

Oh thats too funny. Especially the part about Flava Flav and MJ of course. You have made my day Dana!

Thank you Missy. That Flava Flav has been on my desktop for 6 months, and I kept wondering how I was gonna work it into a post.

Quirkyloon said...

The Flava Flav pics...HIlarious!
Nicely done Dana.
And I miss Nikki, she's been MIA :(

I think it's time we talked to those two dogs of hers. just sayin'

Ginger said...

I think men do age better for the most part. Probably because they leave the child rearing to us gals.
I started to put a comment about the cock flavored soup but then thought it might be too xrated...
That is so weird about the egyptian statue looking like MJ. Actually, I guess it should be the other way around, MJ looks like it.

I'm ashamed of you. If I could be brave enough to put it IN my post, YOU should be brave enough to comment ON it. Hell girl, it's MY post and if anyone doesn't like your comment, they'd have MY ass to whip over it.

glnroz said...

Ma'umm,, ain't no question about it,, you have got to get some Help.. lol.. With us old wore out men,Grannie Annie, it ain't our ole' saggy neck that we have to worry about,, er, er it's our i-site.. (gitit,, eye sight,,lol) gonna stay away from those,, gummy,,humm "treats" though.. i can see that....:)

Now you'uns wouldn't be from Indiana wud you?

Rob-bear said...

Thanks for your latest dose of canned chili.

Don't recognize most of those people. The person you forgot, in terms of a photo, was FF -- the Bionic Woman.

I'm not going to touch the soup thing.

Why, thank you (I think) for giving me the canned chili acknowledgment......would you be interested in the gummy lighthouses???

kathcom said...

The editor of People magazine said last month that Farrah would have to die to get on the cover one last time. Prick.

Now, thanks to the death of the Mighty Morphin' Michael Jackson, she won't even get that.

I can't imagine how Ryan O'Neal is taking it. He's a hot head and not known to be the calm sort.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Those were pretty funny! I do have to say in defense of MJ that it wasn't like he planned to die on that day. Yeah, the news is on him but if he had his choice, I'm sure he'd still be here.

Oh, don't feel you have to defend him. There's so many people dying right now that it's hard to keep track of them because they're lost on the news. Poor MJ never did seem to have his head screwed on right and 50 is too young, but it was a long time coming when you consider his lifestyle. Then there's people like Elizabeth Taylor who seem to be hooked up to some kind of battery.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Im making cock soup tomorrow for supper. yummy

AGAIN!?

NucMEd is Hot said...

I guess that means that I will be aging heterosexually and straight???

And wrinkly and crotchety and like saran wrap. Feel better now?

"KNITTING AND SEWING or HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING TO WEAR IN SIX MONTHS OR LESS"

Gaston Studio said...

I used to sew clothes for my daughters until the son came along; then it seemed like I couldn't remember how to thread the damn machine.

I still HAVE the damn machine! I can't bring myself to get rid of it because I have a photo of my daughter sitting beside it when she was 4 years old. dumb dumb dumb I'm at the age where I should just dump it and forget about the sentiment.

Granny Annie said...

I don't own a needle and thread much less a sewing machine!
Visited Missy and glad I did. Her dress fabric does concern me however.

She's such a dear person that I wonder WHY she bothers blogging when so few show up. But that's just another reason to like her. Maybe now, she'll have more reason to keep plugging away for me.

Julie said...

I always wanted to sew. I just never learned how, outside of Home Ec in high school.
Being as accident prone as I am, I'd probably sew my fingers together.

I would ONLY admit this to YOU, but in home ec, I couldn't get the hang of making button holes, so my first blouse had snaps down the front. The unusual technique won me honorable mention and gave my boyfriend a happy surprise.

Sherry said...

I never could sew at all. However, I knew how to use glue and tape. :)

Oh come on Sherry. With all the excitement attached to your life, WHY would you need to sew! You amaze me.

Ginger said...

I am laughing at your description of the sweater you made.
I used to sew and made my daughter some clothes when she was little. I made curtains and pillows...until my machine broke. I never replaced it and now I probably couldn't sew a straight line. Old age does that.
I will go visit Missy.

But now you've got a beautiful shed!! And I've still got my sewing machine in its cabinet. One of the FIRST things to go when I finally get home.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

One time I sewed a dress for my daughter to wear on her first day to kindergarten but sewed the neckline too small. We had to oil her hair just to put the dress on and when it was time to take it off, I had to cut her out of it! LOL

OH the first time I read your comment I thought you said you had to cut her HAIR to get her out of it and I nearly crumbled ! I kept thinking "WHY didn't she cut the neck!"

hellesbelles86 said...

Awww Thank you Dana!! I appreciate the mention and traffic redirection. I am laughing so hard thinking about the Michelin Man Sweater. Soon I hope to have pictures to show you true Michelin man hideousness in the form of my poor sister in law's required Rennaisance Festival costume.

You're welcome Missy. It's not like I have THAT many readers, but every damn one of them are special enough to stop in and say "howdy" for me.

"ELKS, MASONS, and the VFW"

Julie said...

Cheap drinks and smoking at the bar. Gotta love it.
Get thee to my blog, pronto. I'm making you a star.

Not cheap drinks, but strong enough to put even YOU under the table. Thank you for posting the card I made for you and I meant everything I said.

Gaston Studio said...

My dad was a mason and I was a Rainbow Girl (for a time in high school) but as I got older, didn't like all the structure. Glad, though, that you and Joe found some great friends thru the orgazination AND a place to smoke, if only temporary.

When you have to knock on the door and have the very person who invited you to join open the door, dressed as DEATH, it's impossible not to bend sideways and drop to your knees in hysterical laughter........but that's a no-no.

NucMEd is Hot said...

I have been to several VFW's for parties and or functions of members, and the people that are there are the best. They are funny and so full of stories that I could sit and smoke and drink with them for hours!

So far, we haven't had the spare time to go and sit down to enjoy ourselves. But it's amazing how many whiskey sours you can get just stopping in these places on your way to WinnDixie.

Rob-bear said...

Only groups I've ever joined are Church, Boy Scouts, and Volunteer Fire Fighters. Nowadays, you have to get police background checks for Church work and Boy Scout leadership. Strange how the world works. I could join the Canadian Legion (Canadian equivalent of VFW) but really have no inclination.

That's because you're HOME darlin'. Joe and I are isolated from our old stompin' grounds and just need some kind of continuity with actual Americans.

Mindy said...

I love the VFW... and my grandfather was a mason as well.

I don't care what people say about joining "groups". The Masons have, probably, the most ridiculous ceremony known, but once "IN", there is a bond that carries amongst their members that's particularly unique. But I don't think I could put up with the initiation silliness. Of course I'm a woman and don't need to.

Demeur said...

Quick story about Billy Bob Thornton
He was in New York and went to a bar. Sat down and lit a smoke. They said "You can't smoke here." He went outside to a gated area out front with his drink and smoke. They said "you can't smoke here." so he stepped over the rail with his drink and smoke to the sidewalk. You guessed it " you can't drink on the sidewalk!"

Hey and I thought you quit smoking. I guess the electronic cig didn't work out.

Those electronic cigs were the answer to our "how to quit without killing" predicament....until my sister started chanting about how they're made in China and are probably full off higgidy-jig killing chemical stuff. After that, I couldn't take another puff.

Ginger said...

Love the pictures!! A secret handshake, huh? I think that's funny. I'm glad you found somewhere to hang out and have a few drinks, a smoke, and some laughs. Don't you wish they had some loose slot machines there too?

Oh Ginger. I am SO SICK of visiting the little underground rooms and throwing money away. These little sucker places announce up front that it's JUST ENTERTAINMENT, but I can't get Joe to understand that THEY MEAN IT.

Lorraine said...

My parents were members of the Moose Lodge. Talk about giggles. My mother had my sisters and I join the WOTM because they needed more "paper" members, but we had to attend the ceremony. Had to wear long skirts - no pants. Watched all these overweight women sashaying around in their long skirts on the second floor of the building and watching the light fixtures swing.

NO one can "sashay" like a fat woman in a dress and heels.

By the way darlin', be watchin' your mailbox.

HANSEN WHOLESALE: your internet friend

Ceiling fans are a big thing in Florida. At home we had one in the kitchen that I rarely used. After being in a home that has a ceiling fan in every room, I've grown accustomed to their advantages.

There's no reason to go from store to store to pick one out anymore. Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans has every conceivable fan for any area that you care to have a breeze in. Their site is easily manageable and the beauty of every fan is photographed for your convenience.

This Hunter fan would look beautiful on the lanai.

And when I go home to Indiana, I'm going to make sure that there's a beautiful fan from Hansen Wholesale in every room.

WONDERIN' WEDNESDAY

I visit my bloggin' buddies daily, and sometimes more than that. I have 3....maybe 4, that are my favorite blogs. They're like canned chili. Keep buying the same brand and it gets to where you KNOW what to expect. And you know ahead of time that WHATEVER they write about, you'll enjoy it.

Well, NIKKI is one of those favorites that I count on daily. Even though I'm envious of her house, her gorgeous model/daughter, and her unending supply of readers (why am I complimenting this beee-ach?) I didn't even mind that she took one of the photos I sent her via email, and put it in her post......not a bit!

Where was I?? Oh yeah, my bestest buddy's blog.....She does an I WISH WEDNESDAY that out ranks everyone else's Wednesdays.....so I decided to do a little sumptin sumptin of my own this Wednesday. Hope you all like it cuz it's all I got. I'm not stealin' your idea Nikki. I just ran out of "stuff".

I WAS WONDERIN' WEDNESDAY........................

It's always been my concept that men age more naturally, discretely and dignified than women. I assumed it was because their facial skin was thicker than ours, or that shaving produced some kind of stimulant for the skin cells. And maybe it's just because age (where a man is concerned) represents power and knowledge and.....dare I say it.....$

I've also noticed that lesbians age more gracefully than the rest of us womenfolk....

So I was wondering if MAYBE it has something to do with the fact that us wrinkly old broads have lived WITH a man, and lesbians knew to avoid them from the get-go.

I'm just sayin'.

Speaking of swinging for the other team:

How can you eat it if you refuse to swallow??


As much as I admire the many lighthouses off the Cape, I was wondering if it would be wise to pass these out at Halloween.

Then again, maybe it's just me?

And although he was only fifty, and will be remembered by many adoring fans, I think it was going to extremes to have had his headstone prepared so prematurely.


But I AM getting upset that every 15 seconds a 'NEWS UPDATE' pops up on television regarding Michael Jackson's untimely death. I keep waiting for a bulletin announcing "Michael Jackson is still dead". I'm mainly upset because Farrah Fawcett died just ahead of him after fighting a LONG and horrendous fight against cancer, yet she dropped through the newsroom floor due to MJ.

But when Flava Flav dies, we already have a replacement:
Feel better now?

Celebrity news goes out of its way to pander to all interests, except the important stuff; like what happened to all those tiny dogs that Paris used to carry around?

And I was wondering how something as significant newsworthy as Peter Falk being declared by his daughter as incompetent to control his own bladder finances, can drop off the news radar?



















But I WANT to hear more about Peter Falk. When I see the photos of him having a meltdown in the middle of the street, I'm reminded of how I feel when I'm totally out of control and pissed beyond recognition and I want MORE information! Was he just having a bad day?

That's just how I look when I'm having one of MY bad days, and I'm still competttentt........ compitint......competent...........damn straight!

AND AM I AS OLD AS I FEEL?

AND WHAT IF I'M FEELING SOMEONE REALLY OLD?


IT DEPENDS